Murphy’s Law
by Epitaphx
Summary: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
1. Shot through the foot

_I should totally not be working on new stories. At all but aha. I is._

_So like. I dont know where this came from but I have a strange plot involved that wont go away._

_also, I dont remember anything really...about the series so I have to re-watch it cause it's been a few years so if something is totally drastically wrong_

_slap me and I shall fix it. But I am making up randomness on my own to work for the story and because i know someone will flip_

_-a certian character's awakward behavior will be explained fully so don't panic._

_anyway, dont own, please enjoy_

_~Laine.__  
_

* * *

"_You know Westley I always knew you deserved better than-what was her name again?" I traced my fingertips over his gloved hand. My pirate smiled back at me._

"_Come to think of it, I forget. Was it Tulip or pancake? Something pansy like that." My Dread Pirate Roberts took me in his arms and we. . . _

RIIIIIIIIIING!

"Not again!"

I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. I always woke up right when me and Westley were about to consummate our love. One day I will have that dream completed. Also should probably get new book and movie. Both are tattered.

Oh shit I am late for work. Again! I quickly jumped out of bed, into my closet and changed in the fastest time ever that it should be an Olympic sport, so I can win the gold medal, make money with endorsements, make a movie and find the perfect man to be in the remake of the Princess bride and…I am still late for work.

Must not fantasize while standing stationary. Must learn to walk and dream. Crap! Again still standing.

I shook the thoughts out my head and managed to finally go down to the main floor of my home. My mother appeared livid as always in the kitchen. Pulling at her vibrant green hair.

"Have to go, late, very late. See you at lunch bye!" I ran passed her. Wait. _Green _hair? I backtracked.

"Your hair is green." Mother looked at me with narrowed eyes. I think she tried to send lasers through my body with her eyes.

" Your father think he's funny." She said in a low growl.

"Dad dyed your hair? What? A prank? He pranks now?" That was different. My dad, had a sense of humor that didn't involve death? Why didn't I get this memo?

"He is dead. I am going to kill him. No, first I am going to shave his head. Try to go Super-Saiyan 235 now!"

I blinked.

"I don't think his power is in his hair mom and I am pretty sure there is no 235 level."

"Oh trust me honey, he isn't going to be able to get to that level when I am through with him." My mom gave me her creepastic, "I am an evil genius and you will suffer vast amounts of torment," look. I was happy it was directed at me this time.

"I have to go! Late for work! Bye moms!'

I ran to my car and sped like hell to work. Speed racer eat your heart out. My baby made his car look like a box

I scored a very important internship at my favorite designers office. I did something that no one but grandparents did. I went o college. I think my mom dropped out and just managed to inherit the company my grandparemts started. My dad doesn't know what college is, lack of being Earthling. And my brother-annoying smart like mother-went to college for a week, made the professors cry at his intelligence and lack caring, quit and is now head of the family business. Appearance wise at least.

But me. Bra (hate that name) I wanted to go. I majored in fashion with a minor in business. I managed to get into my favorite designer's office and I love every minute of it! Well some aspects I could live without. I hate the coffee-

"B! There you are! Thank god for that! I need you to deposit this check, get my dry cleaning. V needs you pick of some dresses from Louis. The editor from The Paris Vogue is here! Go, shoo! You have two hours to get this all done!"

My lovely boss shoved me once again towards the door

"Where is your dry cleaning?"

"My usual place B. Now just go!"

I wasn't sure how I felt about the nickname B yet.

"Val usually picks it up for you. I don't have-"

"Just figure it out okay? She is here! I have to go. If you don't get back here with everything consider yourself done here!"

With one final shove, I was back out onto the street and managed to accidentally tackle a poor guy.

"I am sorry-" The man-jackass shoved me away and once again knocking me down on my ass. He glared at me and spat at the ground near where my right hand was. It made me sick.

"Watch it, bitch." He took off around the corner.

Bastard. My Westley would have shoved his sword up his ass. Anyway I had a job to do. Bank first. Closest bank was only two blocks away. Perfect. Trying this new green thing where I don't drive if where I need is under 5 five blocks away. I don't think this will last very long.

I was told to try flying but I am a girl who wears skirts and girls, skirts and flying just don't mix well, you know?

After several minutes I finally made it to the bank. The line wasn't too long today. Success. I would be able to manage all the tasks farer than I-

"Everybody get down! This is not a joke! Get down before I shoot yo ass!"

Several loud blasts were heard. I turned around. Awesome. The man I plowed down was robbing the bank and he already didn't like me.

Being a hero was not for me so I complied against my better judgment. I wasn't a fighter. That was my brother and dad. I just liked clothing and pirates.

"Please don't hurt me! I have a son!"

The woman next to me shouted. I looked over and her son, sure enough, was prettified. His tiny body was having spasms and the mother held him close. My heart went out to them. They didn't have super alien blood in their genes

"Just take the money and go okay? These people don't need this." The jackass from before turned to me. I prayed to kami and everything else I could think of that he didn't recognize me.

"You, "he pointed his gun in my direction, " I know you. You're the bitch from before aren't you? What are you going to do? Play hero? I have the gun."

He pointed it at my head. Seriously. I didn't need a dented head right now.

"Whose playing hero? I just want to pick up drying cleaning." I looked at the gun.

"Cute."

He shot my foot. The bastard shot my foot! I jumped, squeaked in surprised. He shot me in the foot and I was wearing my new, this seasons, the current season of Prada shoes! These were JUST out two days ago new!

"Next time I shoot for the head." He smiled at me before moving on.

"These were the new season of Prada!" I was standing now.

I don't know what came over me or what happened next but do I remember being pulled off of him by his partner who I may have accidentally thrown through a window.

" I loved these shoes." I spat on Mr. Jackass

" Thank you! That was amazing B!" B? Did this person know me? I turned around and my old high school crush was beaming at me totally amazed. He knew I existed?

That familiar feeling of uneasiness started at the pit of my stomach. Something that I only feel when I watch Princess Bride now. My palms started to get clammy. I felt so stupid.

"Uh." Say hi. Say hi Drake, how are you? Say something B. Drat. Now I am saying B.. wait inner monologue must look stupid. Smile at him.

I tried to smile but I think it scared him off.

"Oh. Um. Well I have to go. But you, that was- you're cooler than I thought." Drake touched my shoulder before he ran out of the bank

He thinks I am cool! Drake patted my shoulder before he left too. That is good. I think. He touched me! I took a deep breath to compose myself. I still need to deposit that stupid check.

"You're so brave! Amazing! Do you work out at all? Whose your trainer? Hercule?" The bank teller was gushing. Slightly more awkward coming from her.

"Um, no. I don't really train anymore. Fighting bores me but my dad is one hell of a personal trainer. I think he'd make the devil cry." I handed her the check that needed to be deposited.

"Do you have the account number?"

Shit.

"No. Um. I think it's supposed to go into the companies accountI think."

"It says Mr. Holden. I can look it up if you know his social security number."

"I don't."

"I'm sorry I can't do anything then. You were amazing. I know I said it before but-"

I took the check back and walked out. Stupid bank. I am never coming back to this one again.

* * *

_shoulder I bother with more?_


	2. Smile! For The Camera

_Disclaimer--no at owning....._

* * *

"You know when you called me, I thought you wanted to catch up over lunch. Not perform routine surgery in the bathroom of a McDonalds." I grimaced.

"It is not surgery . . ." I mean I was not under any medication and-

"I am removing something from your body, with a scalpel." Maron sighed and pulled out the bullet. Stupid thing. My shoe was still ruined though. I should have him that douche harder.

"Aren't these supposed to bounce off of you anyway? They deflect off of your dad and-" I removed my foot from her hands and cringed a bit.

"I am only half. So, half bulletproof. I feel pain of it but it can't kill me."

"That's still something right? It wasn't all the way in either." Maron cleaned off the scalpel thing she was using. One should always have an ex med student in their group of friends. Never know when you need some removed from your body, such as a bullet from foot.

What was on my list of things to do again? Find dry cleaning and dresses. Sounds good.

"I have to go. I am on a mission for dry cleaning and dresses."

"Good luck solider." We saluted each other. Good. Free of downer M. Call her that as she always mentions how she is single.

I am too you know but I do not ruin the lives of my friends or dinner parties and talk about how I feel regarding dating services and that I will die alone and be eaten by wolves in my bedroom.

Besides my mom would probably cook them for my family anyway and-holy shitake mushrooms. A full on news crew is outside the McDonalds. Is some famous hot rich bachelor inside? How did I miss something so-

"There she is!"

There who is? An actress? Damn. Did I like I her? I tried to search for her but these damn camera flashes of the fans caught me off guard. I don't care who she is, blinding random people to get a good shot is just rude.

"You, Miss! You were the one who stop that bank robbery!"

Several things happened at once. More blinding lights, I was pushed backwards against the McDonalds and several microphones were shoved my face. One stabbed my left eye.

"Uh."

I couldn't talk in front of crowds like this. I didn't stop a bank robbery and the only crime that I was concerned with, wasn't averted. My right shoe was still mess. Where was he? I feel the urge to smack something.

"Are you steroids?" Someone from my left asked-no, shouted. How rude!

"Are you even human? How'd you manage to throw someone through a marble wall!"

That wasn't a window? Oh shit.

"Hey! You're Bra Briefs! You're the daughter of Bulm Briefs, owner of Capsule Corp! Is this an experimental product?" Another voice from my right asked me.

"Are you saying that is it okay to break the law as long as you have heroic intentions?" Someone in front of me asked.

" Uh." I really needed to work on this. Come on girl. Think. Talk. Breathe.

"Is it true about the merger?"

"I-I have to pick up dry cleaning." Did I really just say that?

I pushed the cameras and mic's away from my face and tried to find the closest dry cleaners. I couldn't get fired. I mean I could but I needed this internship. It was everything.

I couldn't find a dry cleaners anywhere for blocks. It was pathetic. How did people clean their precious clothing? Washed it all?

Something did catch my eye though. I could have sworn I saw my father shopping. He never shops. Well, up until this morning he never pranked anyone either.

I walked over to the window and sure enough it was my father. He was holding a few ties in his hand. I've never seen him wear a tie before. This was rather strange. Maybe mom and dad were heading out to some fancy banquet or something.

I walked in the store my father was in. It looked liked a Barney's for the men in their 60s. Everything was covered in dust. I guess no one told the manager what upkeep meant.

"Hey dad, what are you doing?"

My dad jumped. He never let's anyone sneak up on him. This was peculiar. I tried to shake it off. Something's . .different about him.

"Oh, you startled me." He held up a tie and pushed it towards me.

"What do you think of this?"

The tie had a large dog with sewed on eyes. It was cute, childish, sweet and everything that was not my father.

" It's not you." My father frowned and placed it back down. He showed me another.

This time it was navy blue. Plainer and more fitting I suppose.

"Dad, you don't wear ties. Are you going out somewhere?" he shook his head.

"I looked at all my clothes today and saw that I had no ties. Prince's on this planet have ties don't they? So why shouldn't I have a tie?"

"Dad, all you do is train. You wear the same thing everyday, you don't-"

"I want a tie. It's-I want the damn tie." He began to play with the navy colored one.

" Mom said you dyed her green." My dad laughed.

"She always messes with it. Maybe she will pick a hairstyle now." He looked back at the ties in front of him.

Messes with her hair? She only dyes it every three months to keep the grey out.

"So um. There was this bank incident."

"I am aware of it. I had the pleasure of watching it on the news. Your mother watched your interview. She was blown away by your articulate responses." He smiled.

Not his usual smirk or, "you are going to die but amuse me, smile" either. It was genuine. It didn't look right plastered on my father's face. Why did this all bother me so much? Was this his mid life crisis? Pulls pranks and buys ties?

"I got shot in the foot." I right my foot up for him to see. I point my index finger at the hole in my shoe.

"Is that why you attacked him?" He looked at my shoe.

"Yes. He ruined my shoes. These-"

"Because of shoes? You didn't do it for the innocent beings in the bank with you?"

My dad cares for innocent beings? Now I have heard everything.

"That's rather selfish of you. People could have gotten hurt but you wouldn't have cared as long as your precious shoes were untouched? Is that really how you were raised?"

"I was raised to be stronger than Pan, Goten and Gohan."

"They would have helped, so should have you. Clearly I failed you."

"I don't remember you saving people from bank robberies. You've killed more people than you've helped!"

I should not have said that. I really didn't mean to say it. Shit. Fuckola. Hug him maybe? Say sorry damnit!

"Daddy-"

" I think I am going to go with this one." He clutched the navy tie tightly in his fist.

"Good choice. Daddy I-"

"I am going to pay for this now. See you at home."

Damn curse of mom's big mouth. Have to fix this.

"I love you." I hoped that meant something.

He stopped moving and nodded before continuing to the cashier. Still, he was acting strange and I probably made it all worse. I hate how I always manage to overreact to things.

He was right though, it was selfish to not help those people. I shouldn't have done it over my damn shoes. I looked back over at my watch. I only had less than one hour left to find that damn dry cleaning, those dresses and I still didn't get to deposit that check.

"B, what are you doing here?" Damn that voice. I knew that voice. Lee. My bosses assistant. What was she doing here?

"This is not where the dresses need to be picked up. That's on bay street. You taking more leisure out of this?"

"No. I got confused is all. Do you know hat dry cleaners I need to go to?" I liked Val better but she had to go get fired.

"The Coy Cleaners. Five blocks away."

"Blocks up, down?"

"Up. You really think you can handle the job if you can't do simple mundane tasks like this?"

"I can handle it, but I've never had the pleasure of picking up dry cleaning, Val did that."

I turned to leave finally.

"You know B, we here at W Designs don't take it kindly to those who like to get involved with certain activities. Don't make drug testing mandatory. We all saw that news broadcast and everyone is asking questions."

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

"It was adrenaline. That's all. Fight or flight you now. Just a freak moment."

'That's better be all that it was. You can go now "

The bitch did a shooing motion with her hands. She shooed me away! I devastate my father and now this stick insect, brownnoser, tries to-oooh. I clench my fists closed and finally make my out of the store.

Was it five blocks up? Where was my car? Oh dear. I just…I totally left my car at the bank. I forget where that bank was too. Shitake. I don't have time to get it now. I tried hurry five blocks, Coy cleaners I think it was.

I was beginning to think, after reaching the fifth block that there is no Coy Cleaners and that I was being lied to so that I would indeed fail at this and get fired and she, that skank called Lee, would get a promotion, the one I wanted when I got off my internship and get the success and her own shitty clothing line. She's get the money, and the Westley

"I can't let that bitch win."

"Mommy she said a bad word!" I blushed slightly and mouthed sorry to the mother who glared at me while pushing her son along the sidewalk. I looked up and down both sides of the street. Now where the hell was this place?

"Oh-hey! Everyone! Look! It's the girl who saved the people from the bank! She's cooler than Hercule Satan!"

Damn right I am cooler. Oh right news crew and mob. Hide! I ran across the street, ignoring the possibility of traffic and into the first open establishment.

To my surprise and extreme luck it just so happened to be a dry cleaners.

"What do you want?" Oh crap the mother from before.

"I am picking up dry cleaning for a Mr."

The woman raised her hand.

"You the new Val?"

I nodded and she sighed.

"I hate that man. My son spilled his ice cream on his suite. They will be ready tomorrow. Tell him I am sorry."

"Is there anyway that-"

"No. Tomorrow." The woman flipped though a magazine, ignoring my existence. Great. I am going to get fired. I muttered my thanks and braced myself for the mob outside.

"No one is cooler than me!" I heard a familiar voice say. It was from a TV outside the electronics shop next to me. I wandered over.

"That girl who helped robbed the bank works for me! I told her to save those people, I sensed something was wrong! She is one of my students, that is why she is so strong. The Hercule Satan training method!"

Oh please. This guy was seriously killing my reputation.

"Do you think we can do an interview with both of you?" A reporter asked.

"No." I scoffed crossing my arms.

"Yes!"

Luckily he doesn't know my number. I walked away from the TV in disgust.


	3. Jobless and The City

_I own my socks at least, nothing more_.

_~Laine.__  
_

* * *

I was able to actually complete one task off of my list. I found the dresses at the location I was given. There were no odd robberies, no mobs of people and no one from work whom I knew watching me. It was perfect. The only important thing were those dresses anyway, no dresses, no line, nothing to show the good people who get our clothing out there so I am certain that as long as I came with them I can keep my job.

The only trouble is that I still cannot place where my car was and I really dont think I could sense a car anyway even if I had that ability. I should so learn how to sense ki. Bet I could hide from that stupid skank if I could feel her. Damn. Good idea. Must ask brother to teach me. Father seems too . . . strange at present moment. Mid life crisis's must be a bitch.

"Hey Bra!" I stopped in my tracks. I hated when people I knew saw me while I was out working. If Lee seems me I am dead. Pan, what was she doing out here? Wasn't she grounded or something?

"Uh hey Pan." She bounced and nodded her head at me. She was holding several shopping bags in her hands.

"Grandpa and I are shopping for Christmas, are you too?" I shook my head.

"No, hey can you do me a favor?" I shifted the dresses in my arms.

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"Could you um. Sense my car for me? I lost it and it's actually my brother's and he gets really annoyed when I come home without it."

"I can't sense a car genius! There is no life source!" I knew I was right. Damnit.

"Thanks anyway. I forgot I had it." These dresses were ridiculously bulky. What were the fabrics?

"How'd you misplace it? A car is pretty big you know. Why do you get to drive and I can't? I pay enough attention to know where it is." She crossed her arms causing some of the smaller bags to spill the items. Some bounced into a sewer drain.

"Damnit" Pan dropped the remaining bags an tried to reach a fallen one.

"Blast it I guess."

"You think it's all gross now? That was for my mom." She opened her palm about to send out a ki blast when i kicked her.

"And you mock me? There are people here! They'd see you use powers and they'd freak out. Don't do anything. Buy her a new gift."

"Says the daughter of the richest couple in the country! I can't just go off and buy everything I want like you!"

"Be less clumsy?"

"Pan are you coming!" Mr Satan decided to be the one for her outing today. Just the moron I needed to see right now.

"Ah!" He stopped when he saw me closer. He went ridged and was speechless. I cannot express how thankful I was for that

"Grandpa this is my friend Bra, you've met her before haven't you?"

"I have to go to-"

"I know who she is! You-"

"Late for work. Bye." I tried to walk past him.

"Listen, I know you probably don't want to but-"

"That interview you set up without my consent? Yeah, not happening. Bye Pan!" I tried to wave but the dresses were taking both hands and i could risk extra movement

"Oh please! You will be paid I promise! It wont last long and I can do all the talking!"

"No. Have to go. I think I see my car now." I started walking again but the oaf attached himself to my left leg and would let up. I dragged him halfway to where my car was before I managed to finally kick him off.

"Bye." I opened the door, started her up and made my way back to the office. I had about five minutes left to spare. This was good. punctual. Very nice.

When I made it to the office again something was off. I could feel the tension as soon as I stepped in through the doors. The lady at the front desk in the lobby was sobbing, the man next to her was yelling, papers were scattered everywhere. What was going on here? I was about to ask when my boss cornered me.

"What took you so long? Did you deposit that check? That was very important. I need the slip for proof. Vera is having a conniption." He held out his hand.

"No, but I have the dresses." I tried to hand them over but he refused to the take them.

"Where is that slip, Bra. I need that slip. The editor from Vouge needs it as proof. Please tell me you deposited that check."

"Proof for what?"

"Not important for you to worry about. Well? Do you have it?" He started to tap his foot in annoyance.

"No. There was this bank robbery and I-"

"Why didn't you get that deposited? What possibly took your percious time when you were gone? Shopping I see." he glared at the covered dresses in my arms

"No! These are the dresses you wanted me to pick up! I couldn't deposit the check cause I needed an account number and I didn't have your social security number so they wouldn't let me do anything!"

"That's funny cause I was here all morning and afternoon and I told you to call if you needed anything."

"I'm sorry! So much was going on I didn't think of it. There was a bank robbery and I-"

"Don't make excuses for yourself. It's pathetic. What about the rest? Did you get my dry cleaning?"

"No because-something happened to it, so it will be ready tomorrow and I have the dresses you wanted!" I tried to show them off. He refused to look at them.

"You didn't do shit did you? Are you even serious about this? Or are you here because you saw that stupid movie, _Devil wears Prad_a?" His nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed.

"NO! I love fashion! I want to be here! I am sorry but I-"

"Enough! That's it. I am tried of watching you drag everyone else here down. It's not fair to the people who want to be here. You can take those dresses and go. Your services are rendered."

"Wh-what? I-"

"Now! Go before I call security and have them escort you." He crossed him arms and the people at the desk started to laugh quietly at me. This is-I can't breathe. My hands started to shake. I am dying. I am going to die

I felt firm hands on my arms and i looked up to see two men in uniforms dragging me out. Was this real? Did this just happen? I was fired? I can't say how I pulled it off but while in this state I managed to walk to my car, turn it on and drive to my house, enter, take the stairs and go into my room.

Fired? I was fired. No job, no money, no career and no anything. I had to reason to function or breathe. It was over. My life is over. I guess I could always work for Capsule Corporation. Did we have a fashion department? I could start one if we didn't. The target would be spies or something. With that thing mom invented for Gohan-that was perfect only-will not endorse horrible outfits worn by idiotic superman wannabe. It is sad that my mom was serious when she designed that silly costume.

"We're having a family meeting apparently." My brother was leaning against my door frame. How long has he been there?

"What did you do?"

He scoffed. He looked like dad when he did it.

"Funny, was going to ask the same thing. Mom is in a better mood now that dad is acting normal again. Did he uh-seem strange to you?"

"He danced and yodeled."

"He can yodel?" His eyes went wide for a second.

"Terrifying thought isn't it?" I shuddered playfully and slid off my bed.

"Worse than Goku wearing a tutu." We bother shuddered.

"Think he would ever? Not knowing what . . .?"

"Oh God! Now I can see it!" He covered his head with his hands. We both made our way down to the living room. Mom was waiting for us on the couch. Dad was nowhere in sight. Strange. Shouldn't he be here?

"Good! You're both here. Have a seat. Youor father will be here in a second. So how was your day guys?"

" I had a meeting, closed a deal and flew around at lunch." Trunks shrugged and looked at his hands.

"I got fired from my job." I didn't want to talk about this.

"Oh. I'm sorry honey." My mom squeezed my hand and smiled at me. My mom looked around and then sighed.

"Where is he? He told me he was going to be back ten minutes ago!"

"Where is he usually?" Trunks leaned back against the cushion and closed his eyes.

"I am going to start locking him out of it." My mother crossed her arms and turned her head to the side. Dad did like to train a lot.

"I'd love t see you try, woman." Dad walked over and glared at mom before standing beside her.

"Oh I will, buddy. Watch me! Anyway, now that we are all here, let's get down to it! Trunks, Bra you two are fully matured adults. You both have-er had jobs and don't need to rely on us anymore."

Where was she going with this?

"We're throwing you out." My dad smirked.

Trunks and I did a double take. They never had an issue with us still living at home before!

" Anyway we're giving you both a month to find new homes. We still love you the same but we'd like to see you two off on your own. Chi-Chi always complains to me about how she and Goku never have any privacy with Pan, Goten and Gohan living with them."

"Fine." My brother was hardly phased. Least he had a job and money.

"Um, I have a small issue on a lack of a job."

"Find one."

"Dad, I can't just go out and-uh. My industry is hard."

"Good. It was a stupid one anyway. Do something else."

"Be nice! Bra I am sure you can find something. If not, you can always work for-"

"I know but-"

"For someone who needs job you sure like to decline offers."

"Dad I am not declining-"

"Sounds like it to me."

"You'll find something, I know you will." My mom squeezed my hand again.

"Is this meeting over? I have plans to hang out with Goten."

"Yeah you both can go. I have to come up with that lock anyway."

"You do it and I will break it."

"You break it and you can sleep on the couch for the rest of our marriage!"

I left my bickering parental units and headed back to my room. I needed a plan. I needed money. I needed an apartment. I have a feeling my mom and dad would most likely not help us pay for the new housing so I need to find a way for financial security. Where can I get quick cash? I had a sicking feeling in my stomach. I was going to hate myself.

I shakily picked up my phone and dialed.

"Hey Pan? Can you give me your grandfathers number? I think I may take up his offer."


	4. This Is Hell

__

I own my socks at least, nothing more

_~Laine.__  
_

* * *

I feel sick. My hands are shaking and my face looked like floured dough. I told them they put too much foundation on but they wouldn't listen. I needed the money. I keep telling myself that so I wouldn't flee the set. Pan was over by her grandfather watching me. I bet she was mocking me and telling everyone to watch this too. If only I knew had to-ah well. Just a thirty minute segment, couldn't be so bad.

"So, how is this payment going to happen? Up front or will it be a check? How soon am I getting it?" The director never liked to answer me straight.

'"You'll get your money don't worry. Now just remember to relax and act as if the camera is not there, got it?" He smiled and patted my shoulder.

"No but seriously, when do I get the money? See I need it to find a-"

"Hm. What's that?" He grabbed my chin and lifted it upwards. What the hell was he doing?

"Wha?"

"They missed a spot. Molly! Get the makeup crew back here! Those clowns missed an entire section on her face! She looks ridiculous!"

Well, how rude. He is off my Christmas card list for sure.

"I'm sorry! Did you see what they did to her hair? It's impossible! Unworkable!" Molly walked over and grabbed a chunck of my hair and pulled it to show the director.

"Hey!" My hair is flawless thank you.

"Damn. Just pin it back or something." He started to pull on my hair too.

"Let go!"

I must have pushed them harder than I thought because they both flew backwards into the set. I couldn't help but blush and tried to hide. If I got fired from this too I wasn't going to leave my house ever again. I would hide so no one would find me. I could develop a new ki sensing blocking technique and be famous for it. Fighters from the world over would look up to me, the greatest innovator and I didn't even fight!

"Ha! She is a strong one isn't she? But of course she isn't as strong as me! I am her master after all!" Great. Satan showed up. This had to be Hell. Funny it wasn't that hot.

"Yeah." I crossed my arms and tried to ignore him. Pan walked over shaking her head at him.

"Grandpa, shouldn't you be back in makeup?"

"Oh right! Of course!" Thank God for that. He left in a hurry.

"Thanks for doing this. Sorry he is so full of himself. He really isn't that bad once he calms down a bit. Why are you ding this anyway B?"

What was this? Is there some kind of memo going around saying to call me B? Have all my friends gotten so lazy that they can't say my actual name?

"My parents are kicking me and Trunks out of the house. I need money to get an apartment by the end of the month."

"Don't you have a job though?"

Did.

"I did. Then things happened." I shrugged.

"I'm sorry. Was it because we talked for a bit?" Her face started to grew mild terror.

"No. There this stupid bank thing. That's actually why I am here, cuz of it. " I really hated that bank. Worst moment of my life ever.

"The robbery you stopped? You were fired for helping people? That's stupid!" She was getting in a fighting stance.

"I wasn't-anyway I couldn't deposit some check and that was the most important thing I had to do so because I didn't get to do it I was sacked."

"I'm sorry. I could go talk to him! get your--"

"No! Don't! I am going to just move on, you know? Besides I have other things on my mind to worry about to. I think my dad is having a mid life crisis or something. It's really bugging me and my brother is noticing it too."

"You don't think?" She once again had a look of terror.

"Think what?" I blinked.

"That he's . . .under control again?"

"Uh. I don't think dying my mothers hair and buying ties qualifies as getting revenge on a race of people. Besides he looks normal enough."

"Maybe it's a trick!" Pan jumped up. She was getting pumped. Damn, girl.

"I don't think he is. He's normal-okay not totally normal but my dad is total control of himself. I think." He seemed like it at least.

"You should get some of that sacred water to be sure though. I don't want to relive that nightmare again, luckily I am much stronger and older this time." She clenched her fists.

"Sure. Whatever. Sacred water. Gotcha."

"Are you ready? We're setting up for the interview now. Pan you need to go stand over there." The PA who came from nowhere pointed near the directors chair.

"Okay. See you after B!" She ran over to the chair.

"Do you have any idea when my check will be given to me? It's a check right?" The PA shook his head

"I know nothing about money. Ask the producer." Damn. Does no one here know anything?

I was ushered to take my seat. Hercule was already sitting in his. He was reading some magazine while he was getting his own makeup job.

"Oh hey Bra, listen here is a list of what you need to say. Thanks again!" I was reading from a script?

I took the paper he handed me. Was he serious?

"Hercule is the strongest man alive, he saved me from me endless pits of despair and gave light to my life? Are you kidding me?" His cheeks went pink. I am not saying that.

"If you read from it I will have them double what they are paying you now!"

I could live with this. Just a silly script.

"Good! No just be sure that no one sees that you're reading it so you should try to memorize it."

"You saved me from Cell? I wasn't even alive when Cell happened!" The makeup artist jumped at my outburst. Hercule's makeup was smeared and the eyeliner he apparently wears stabbed his eye.

"Fine, I didn't like that one anyway." He sounded like a child then. I rolled my eyes and continued to read the bogus script.

"I don't like the comment on those "blonde fighters." Why are you even talking about them today? I never went super."

"Because you're one of them aren't you?" He whispered that.

"No but I am related to two of them and the rest are friends. They have a name you know."

"Fine! Take it out too."

"All I have left to say is hi then!" This was stupid. Screw the script. I was going to be honest.

"Let me do all the talking then!" He pushed the makeup crew away and the lights went on ridiculously bright. I guess were starting now. I prayed no one I knew was watching this. Please Dende, have everyone fall into a thirty minute coma.

The host of the show walked on the set. I think I've seen her before but couldn't place it. Her hair was blonde and curly and had this awful red skirt suit going on. It was killing me to look at.

" Hello everyone! I am Zola and this is Daily Headline! Today I am here with everyone favorite world champion Hercule Satan and his new protégé, um." Zola walked over and leaned into me

"Your name?" She whispered

I was not going to disgrace my good name for this shit. Please forgive me friend.

"Marron Chestnut." I tried to mouth "sorry" inconspicuously. I could hear my phone going off. Guess this was live.

"Marron Chestnut. Odd name." I tried to smile.

"I like it."

"So Marron-"

"She a very good fighter! But no near my skill level but I am getting older I need to rely on having a predecessor who can one take my place as savior to this good city."

There was a plate of cookies on the table next to me. I figured they could help me through this, so I snatched one and snapped it in half with my teeth. Eating anger felt kinda good.

"Ah! How long have you been training with Mr Satan, Marron?" I swallowed hard

"Um. I don't remember?" Maybe I should look at the script for these answers.

"She's been at my gym for years right B-I mean Marron!" I nodded.

"What do you parents think about you saving those people at the bank robbery?" Zola shoved the mic into my face. Literally.

"Um. They don't care?" I don't remember if they even mentioned how they felt honestly.

"Her parents are dead! Happened the hands of evil Majin Buu." Oh fuck me. I took another cookie. Doesn't that idiot remember? That those memories were wished away? This was too painful. I wonder what the others were thinking if they were watching.

* * *

"Did he really just say that?" Trunks covered his face with his hands. Chi-Chi stared at the screen and shook her head.

"How dumb is this man? How could he forget that?" She sighed.

"I thought her name was Bra." Goku frowned and scratched his head.

"It is you idiot. Obviously she doesn't want anyone else to know that." Vegeta turned from the TV.

"Maybe she can recover somehow? She's been doing okay." Gohan turned the volume up on the TV and watched closely.

The gang decided that they wanted to watch this spectacular television event together. It was advertised nonstop since Hercule announced it the previous day. The Chestnuts left after a furious Marron tried to break the TV. She also did not want her name to be disgraced.

"I don't' like how I am being portrayed in this." Bulma crossed her arms.

"What do you mean mom?"

"Well, now I am the heartless dead woman who doesn't care if her kid saves people." Bulma hmphed and glared at the screen

"I doubt she thinks that mom."

"Yeah Bulma, you can be the live heartless," Goku stopped talking as she started to advance towards him. Her face displaying her, " you have two seconds to live" glare.

"Hey guys. They're having people to call in, want to?' Gohan pointed to the number on the screen.

"I want to!" Goku grabbed the phone.

"Hello? Yeah I wanted to talk--okay. My name? Goku, why? Charges for what? Sure?"

"_ And our first caller in one the line."_

On the screen Bra shifted uncomfortably in her seat and ate another cookie. Her head was down and she refused to look up at the camera.

"I wonder who that is."

Goku's voice was echoed on the TV.

"Dad, I think they mean you." Gohan pointed to the TV.

"Oh! Hey Bra! It's me Goku, how are you? Your mom is kinda mad! She doesn't think-" The struggle for the phone would also be heard on the Television. Bra started to pale and sweat.

"What the hell do you mean I never cared when you stopped the robbery and why are you letting people think I am dead? Is this the thanks I get for raising you and letting you live at home way passed what I really should have? I let you have everything you wanted! This is how you-"

Bulma looked at the phone and the threw it to the ground.

"They hung up."


	5. Seedy Offer?

__

I own my lobsters

_~Laine._

_right. I forgot to figure the ages I think. so Bra- 21, Trunks 28, Pan, 17 ( no TP-ness...so sorry) Marron= 25.  
_

* * *

I ran from my seat. The camera was still rolling and I could hear Zola trying to talk and cover for me but I don't care. I have to get out of here. I shouldn't have taken this offer. Money wasn't worth your mother publicly humiliating you on live television while the entire country was watching. This beyond sucked. Maybe I should disown my parents for this. I bet that could be something, get that on the news.

I can see the headlines now, _"Local heiress disowns family after humiliation."_

I would need a stable job though if did that, as I would most likely be cut off and lose my inheritance. Such is life. I guess I am back at job hunting then. Maybe I should just steal some of the local newspapers and check out the classifieds. There had to something useful. Maybe use a temp agency. I refuse to work for Capsule Corp. I do not want to have some boring as hell desk job and take orders from my brother. I bet I would his secretary. He still had his personal assistant but I know she hates him for leaving through the window all the time.

Maybe I could grovel and get my old position back? It couldn't be so hard. I did do really well there minus my one bad day which led to my current situation. Or I could teach yoga. Yes! I knew yoga! I couldn't fight and I sure as hell would never want to attempt to teach self defense as my only move would be the Buffy kick.* Yes. Perfect plan Stan. Now where would I apply for this position?

"Now where the hell do I find a yoga studio?"

I ran to the nearest newspaper stand and took one out. I really am into this idea. I wonder if there is one is this city?

"Um you're standing on my shoe." A low child like voice said to my left. I looked up and girl with red hair was smiling at me.

"Sorry." I move to my right and start looking through the paper again. If I wanted to be a whore I would totally have that covered.

" I don't mean to pry but did you say you wanted a yoga studio? I am looking for one too!" Her voice was oddly chipper. I look back at her again.

"Uh cool. I actually want to teach classes." I sigh and try once again to read through the classifieds.

"It was actually why I was out here originally but now I have a date!"

"Fascinating, really." I walk over to the bench and take a seat. My head was buzzing. I needed to focus.

"I think he's late." The Muppet followed me. Awesome.

"Uh call him maybe?" I tried to concentrate hard. I think I found-no. That was a yogurt ad.

"Forgive me, but what are you reading?" I sighed. Guess I wasn't going to get rid of her anytime soon.

"Newspaper. Need to find that studio." Maybe if I growl she will go away.

"Oh. Do you have a cold? You should get that taken care of." There goes that theory.

"No." I sighed again.

Her phone went off and I hope to Dende that it was her moronic boy toy telling her she is meeting him in the wrong spot. Oh please be what the call is about.

"Hello!" I think her chipperness has just increased tenfold.

"Oh. You told me to get out so I did." Ha. Maybe they broke up. Oh. Not ha. She may cry now.

"Sarcasm?"

Okay. So job hunting here is out. I closed the paper and folded it back up. I may should just go home and get on the net. Least then I will be in peace and in the comfort of my own home.

"I have a new friend to keep me company until you get here!"

No you don't.

"Bye!"

Ditto.

I was about to make my exit when Miss Chipper grabbed my arm pulling me along with her. Oddly strong.

"Um. Hello. What are you doing?" I removed her hand from my arm.

"I'm hungry. Do you want to go out for lunch?" She closed her eyes and smiled. She reminded me of grandma. Oh I miss her.

"Well, I am kinda hungry but I have to go. I need to-"

"Perfect! Where do you want to eat?"

New strategy. I walked away.

"So, where are we going?"

Okay. So maybe I couldn't get rid of her that easily.

"I can't afford new friends. I have too many. There just is no room in my schedule." I bowed and turned to go.

"Do you want fries?"

Oh fuck me. Fine.

"I like fries. Fine. We'll go here." I pointed to the cafe before us.

The cafe is nice to say the least. I think I've eaten here before. I took the closest seat at the closest table and Miss Chipper followed me. I didn't even know her name yet.

"My name is Bra." I blinked.

"Funny name." She poked the ash tray.

"Thanks."

I waited for her to introduce herself as well.

"Do you think they have ice cream here?"

Or not.

"What is _your_ name?"

"Oh!" She giggled and covered her mouth.

I waited.

"I never told you? How silly of me."

And waited.

"Well?" I started to tap my foot impatiently.

"My name is Valese."

I knew that name but I couldn't place it. I swear I've heard ir before, but where? Was she Trunks new girlfriend? No. That was Veronica. I think. Valese. Hmm.

"Are you an actress?" I was going to figure this out.

"No." She giggles again.

"Are you dating my brother?" Maybe he was a whore now.

"Um. Who is brother?" Her head tilted to the side.

"Um. Trunks Briefs. President of Capsule Corp, purple hair? Kinda nerdy."

"No. I don't think so." She frowned a bit.

Okay. Think.

"Have we met before?" I picked up my menu.

"Nope!"

Damn. Who was she then? I looked over the specials. Nothing was sounding good.

"Are you two ready to order?"

No.

"N-

"I want a hamburger!"

"I'll have a salad."

Waiter left. Wasn't cute so good riddance.

Ten minutes later our food came. I still hadn't figured out who she was yet. This is really starting to annoy me. Why did I know her but she didn't know me?

I stopped eating. Girl is insane.

"Are you eating that with spoon?" She was eating her hamburger with a spoon. I blinked and couldn't stop staring.

"Aren't I supposed to?"

I shook my head, my eyes not leaving her.

"Hands."

I did a jazz hands as a visual aid. She dropped her spoon and started to eat properly. New thing to tell friends. Met a crazy.

"Oh! My boyfriend found us! Hello!" She stood up and started to wave her arms.

Oh sweet Dende. I grabbed the menus and hid my face. I did not need to be seen with crazy.

"Bra?"

Oh shitake. I knew how I knew her now! Dating friend, not brother. Damn. I waved and put menu back over face.

"'Ello." I said in small voice.

"You two are friends?"

"I just met her." I became deeply fascinated with special no. nine.

"That's cool." He sat next to me. Not girlfriend. Ha! Take that vase.

"Saw you on the TV."

Oh you bastard.

"I do not know what you speak of, sir." Special no. ten was now much more interesting.

"Very articulate. I never knew you trained under the great Satan."

"His name is Vegeta and nope. Don't."

Miss Chipper wasn't talking.

"Heard you got fired."

Oh the hell did he know that? I only told family and Pan. Oh Wait . . .

"And who told you this?" I resisted putting hands on my hips.

"Your brother."

Curse you Trunks. Shouldn't be surprised though.

"I can give you a job." He smiled.

I did not like the smile. It gave me chills that I was not ready for.

"You need to be in a position to be able to give someone a job before you offer." I scoffed and crossed my arms.

He laughed. Bastard.

"Have you heard of Skylark Industries? Well soon to be Enterprise but anyway."

I nodded.

"I own it, run it and founded it. We just made a business deal with Capsule Corp. International PR company. But you knew that right?"

Bastard.

"I don't want to be your secretary!" I threw my napkin down.

He laughed at me again. I was ready to cut him.

"We represent of lot of different businesses. Some are gyms, fashion studios."

He trailed off.

He was good.

Bastard.

"I wouldn't hate to consider it." I said in defeated tone. Not sure why I felt like I lost something though.

"Good! I am sure we can find _something_ for you." Damn his smirk to hell.

"Well I am a bit thrown off. If all you do is pimp them out, how can you get me a job say with a fashion designer or a yoga studio?" I arched a brow.

"I am _very_ persuasive." He said almost seductively. His girlfriend was here and she didn't even flinch!

"I'll think about this." I stood up and threw some money on the table.

"I must go. Have fun on your date."

I tried calmly and cooly walk away but my pace started to pick up and I ended up at a brisk run.

So my goal may be met soon. I can get a job, get money and then look for a place to live so I will no longer be homeless! Everything seems to be picking up now. Maybe this is my year. Maybe everything will be perfect now and fall into place. Oh I couldnt wait til I got home. Must pretend to consider offer and then call Goten as if I am sick of his face.

Can picture convo now.

_"All right, fine. I'll take your offer up." I sigh deeply and roll eyes._

Perfectness.

* * *

I took the rest of the day off. Not that I had any plans really. I just wanted to relax and think of how I was gong to accept Goten's offer.

"So I heard you saw Goten today."

My brother doesn't even say, "hi" anymore.

"At lunch. Was unexpected. What's it to you?" He was leaning against my door frame.

"He said he offered you a job or something."

He said it like it was a bad thing. What's his deal?

"You can't take it." He stood up straight and looked at me. He was kind of sad.

"Why not? I need one."

"Because he only offered it so you would sleep with him."

What?!

"Excuse me!? That's a pretty vile accusation for someone to make about their supposed best friend!"

The nerve. What the hell?

He glared.

Bitch.

"He _is_ my best friend but that doesn't mean I have to agree with everything he does. I know him. He is nice to girls for a time and then after they sleep with him he moves on."

"You're wrong. He's not like that. He has a girlfriend, hello!"

He scoffed.

"Valese is so damn oblivious he could fuck someone in front of her and she would still not notice."

She was a bit airy.

"I think you're lying. I don't know why you're jealous but I think you are. He's paying attention to someone other than you for once? Getting under your skin? What the hell is your problem?"

"I am trying to protect my sister, when is that a crime?" He was shaking.

"It's a crime when you start lying about people! You of all people should know he is not like that!"

He laughed darkly. Oh this conversation was pissing me off.

"You have _no_ idea what he is really like."

I crossed me my arms and glared back.

"And what pray tell, is he really like?"

He shook his head and backed away.

"Say no. You'll regret this if you say yes. I wont interfere if you do say yes, but consider this my final warning. If you show any hint of liking him, that will destroy you."

"Some brother you are!" I throw something at him from my shelf.

"The only reason I am telling you this is because you're my sister."

He tossed my book back to me.

"He doesn't want me. Besides I like someone else anyway."

I stick out my tongue.

"Good."

Indeed.

Now I just needed to find that someone else.

He left after he said that. Good riddance. I was tired of him anyway. I turned to my self and placed my book but it it's proper face. Some caught my attention. My calendar. I stared at the date for a few tense seconds. The date couldn't be right.

I looked backed again and again. I even checked my cell phone and calendar on my computer.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,

tonight I was to attend Pan's party. That was the last thing I wanted to do right now. It was just an excuse for her to rub it in that she gets more action than my 20 something face.

One day I shall let her parents know of these parties, these "let's get drunk off our asses." parties. I wonder what wonderful things would happen to her.

I couldn't go alone. I always got sucked in. Always. The Elder Son's twice a month would go out past West City with my parents. This would included Pan's wonderful--overprotective parents and her grandparents. Her uncle never took part of the night. He was off apparently being a creepy nympho says brother.

So that left me and Marron to be the heroes of the day. We just ended up getting so smashed ourselves that we be found passed out outside somewhere in the woods.

Marron. My Downer M. Bestest pal. Favorite drinking buddy. Currently annoyed at me. I couldn't go alone and I already promised I was going. I had to grovel. I swallowed my pride and called her.

I hope she picks up. I hear it ringing. Damnit. Answer!

"_What do you want?"_ Her usually lovely voice was now filled with malice. Oh fucker.

" Marron. Best friend. I need you." I tried not to sound too desperate.

_"Was exploiting my name not enough for you? I'm hanging up now."_

_"_Stop!" So much for not being desperate

_"What else could you possibly-"_ Shitake was she pissed at me_._

" I did you favor. I mean you will be getting checks in the mail for sponsorships I bet! Also you can have the money I earned for the interview_."_ I hoped she bought it.

_"How much money?"_ The anger was replaced with curiosity. Yes!

"Enough." Tried not to sound smug.

_"I may consider this. What do you want?"_ Damn. Anger was back

"You're my best friend and I think it's silly for this to come between years of friendship. I don't want to end like this. " I was so sincere tears were forming in my eyes. Damn.

__

"Lovely. I suppose perhaps, maybe you could have a point."

I danced.

"Marron if it ever came down to it, and the fate of the world depended on me saving the world I would totally save you first. And possibly perform the ever infamous fusion with you."

"I would even let you be the dominate one! We could be called. Marran. Or Br-uh come up with name later." I bit my lip, hoping this would further appease her.

__

" Well if I ever got strong enough I would uh. Save you first if I was ever in that situation. Best friends."

I put my hands over the phone and danced around my bedroom.

"_That's not why you called me though is it, lovely?"_ I don't remember when or why but we call each other by odd pet names only a lover would use. It was strange.

" You got me, surgardrop. What are you doing tonight?" I wonder over to my closet and pulled out random outfits.

"_I had nothing going on. But I assume you have plans for us now, honey blossom?"_ I heard her sigh.

" I do buttercup! We're going to a party." I held a dress up to me and looked at my mirror.

* * *

"Bra when were you planning on tell me that the party was one of Pan's downer's? I hate--detest these." Marron was not feeling the excitement.

"When we stepped in?" She turned to go.

"No! please, please, please stay? Five minutes I swear! I can't be here alone. Please?' I grabbed her hands and pulled her close. My dad would beat the shit out of me if he saw me beg.

She tore her arm away from my grip and glared.

"For Dende's sake we are adults! We do not belong here." I actually agreed with her.

"Five minutes! I said I'd be here! I can't go in alone! I need you! It's hell. If hell were a place on Earth it would be inside." I pointed to the house.

She turned around again and sighed.

"Five minutes?" Yes! At her caving.

I nodded and grabbed her arm again.

"After this we can go back to my house, grab some ice cream and watch _The Princess Bride."_ I knew she loved Westley as much as I did.

"_Spaceballs_ too?" I nodded.

"_Men in tights_ as well?" I nodded harder?

"_The Labyrinth_ even?" I added jumping.

"Yes! All of them!" She smiled.

"Fine. Five minutes." I knocked. Pan answered and was not with the happy.

"Hi?" She pulled us both inside.

"Did you tell my dad about the vodka?' She was very pissed.

"You have vodka?" Marron loved the vodka a bit too much.

"He found out by someone that I had some. He flipped out on me! He blew a hole in the wall!" She pointed and sure enough, a very nice hole was by the bathroom.

"We just got here." Marron rolled her eyes.

"Are you parents here?" There was no one here. I didn't even hear music.

"No. They went off on their trip with your parents and grandma and grandpa." She sat on the steps.

" So you got busted for vodka and they let you stay at home by yourself and have a party anyway?" I really wanted parents like that.

"No! grandpa Hercule is here. He scared everyone away! I'm grounded unrtil i'm thirty. And that boyfriend? My dad met him!"

I looked at Marron and we both laughed. Not out loud but inside.

"I'm sorry kid, how'd it go?"

Pan pointed to another wall. There was another hole.

"He threw into the wall. See, he just dented it I guess when he blasted it but-gah!" Pan covered her head with her hands.

"Why did he throw him through the wall?" Marron was losing it. She couldn't stifle her laughter.

"Well, we were downstairs right? My mom and dad were gone--thought they left for the dinner. So he we started dancing. Dancing led to kissing and then my parents came home. Apparently they went to the store. Then somehow he got tipped off about the vodka, which was why they came home in the first place!"

"Wow." We both said.

Marron looked at me and then the door.

"We have to go. No party and you being grounded, no reason to stay." We both backed away.

* * *

Finally. Bliss. Watching favorite movie with best friend and eating best ice cream ever.

"So he offered you a chance for a job? And your brother says he only wants to sleep with you?" Had to tell her awkward situation.

"Yes." Took spoonful of chocolate heaven.

"Well, do you want to?" Chocked on chocolate heaven.

"What?!" Started coughing up chocolate heaven.

"Do you want to sleep with him?" She repeated very slowly.

"What kind of question is that!"

I threw my pillow at her.

"Maybe he likes you. Like really likes you. Not in a pervy way but a nice genuine way." She threw the pillow back.

"No way. He doesn't like me. He has a girlfriend."

"So did your last boyfriend before you two dated."

I shook my head.

"No. Besides, I have no interest or respect for a person like that should he be how my brother described him." I stared at the screen. Oh Westley.

"Okay fine Miss Morals. Can you tell him I need a job and am very flexible?" I felt cheeky so I grabbed my cell.

"Okay, you got it." I pressed speed dial. Marron was in shock so I had a few seconds to run.

"Bra, I am going to kill you!"

I dodged her attack.

"Hey Goten, how are you?" I dodged her other attack.

"Well, yes I am aware it is late to be calling but I just wanted to extend my thanks and appreciation for the offer. I told Marron about it and she told me to tell you-"

She tackled me that time.

"Die!" She tried to grabbed the fallen phone but I pulled the blanket we had on the ground from under her. She fell and I dived to the phone.

"Sorry about that! I tripped. Anyway, she says she is like elastic and desperately needs a job! Bye now!" Marron's face was crimson.

"Why did you do that!"

"To test him. If he really is how my brother says, he will take the bait, no?" She continued to glare.

"And why am I the bait?

I shrugged.

"Because it's what Dende wants?"


	6. Tis The Season

__

I own my lobsters.

* * *

"Wake up."

Funny. I heard this strange voice far off in the distance. Odd. It sounded just like my mother. I hugged my pillow and tried to hide my face. This was bliss. Soft, pillowly bliss.

"Now."

I jolted. I was now on the floor. What the hell? I looked up and my mother's arms were at her hips. She was agitated by something.

"What did dad/and or Trunks do?"

My usual and conditioned response.

"Your father sometimes make me so--come downstairs and see for yourself. We're buying the tree today. Everyone's here."

She left my room after that. The tree shopping day was now? Kinda late. I wonder why we adapted this western tradition but everyone in my family loves it.

After another Olympic speed dressing session I made my way to the kitchen to not be greeted by the family we usually share this day with.

"Marron?" I blinked and she waved sheepishly. Eighteen looked bored and Krillin just looked awkward.

"Uh. I don't mean to be rude but where are the Son's?" My mom slammed a plate of food down at the table.

"Your father decided that he wanted to spend this year with the Chestnut's. He decided to tell me two hous ago that he cancelled our usual plans without bothering to let me in on that decision."

That must be why she was annoyed.

"If you don't want us here we will gladly leave." Eighteen rolled her eyes. She always made my mom nervous. Not my dad, not Goku but Eighteen. Was really funny.

"No. That's not what I am trying to convey here. I am merely annoyed and frustrated that my husband takes it upon himself to carry out his own agenda. This is a family day and we usually spend it the Son's. It just worked out that way. I am not--"

"Mom just means she is annoyed at the last minute change of plans. It's cool you're here but she wish she knew about it sooner." Trunks saves the day.

"Right." Eighteen swirled her fingers around her coffee cup.

"Well least we know this year's tree hunting experience will involve less explosions." I shrugged.

"E-explosions?" Krillin was too timid. He needed to lighten up.

"Our dad gets irritated when we go out to the lot." Trunks explained.

"Isn't he usually irritated anyway?" Eighteen stopped tracing the cup for a second.

"Well, more apparent I guess." He shrugged.

"It's Pan's fault you know. She hugs trees. He gets annoyed and says he'll blast her if she doesn't stop acting so childish." I took some pancakes and piled them on my plate.

"Even though she is a quarter Saiyan she still should live up to her heritage-"

"- and stop acting like a fool. She is a warrior not-

"- a blasted buffoon." Trunks and I did our secret handshake when we finished.

"Sounds like him." Krillin laughed nervously.

"Yeah. Then dad starts firing at her and every tree and then-"

"That one time he accidentally set the lot on fire because one of the hobos spilled their drink?" I shouted a bit too loud with my excitement.

"And the fire trailed all the way to Goku and his boots-" Trunks returned my excitement.

"- and he started to scream and dove into random piles of snow?" We broke into laughter. Marron, Eighteen and Krillin stared at us. I could feel their eyes.

"Are you guys ready? We're leaving now." Mom was back and dad was by her side. They both looked pissed now. Wonderful.

* * *

"Well? What are you waiting for? Pick the damn tree so we can get on with our lives." Dad and his wonderful self. Normal today. This was good at least.

"I like this one." I pointed to a random tree. Trunks and Marron joined my side and we all tilted our heads in synchronized motion.

"Nah." Said all three of us.

"How do you guys usually base your tree on?" Marron touched one and looked back at me and my brother.

"We don't usually get to choose the tree ourselves." Trunks spoke first.

"Yeah. We usually let Pan decided and by let I mean dad sends us his, 'let her choose so we can get on with it or I will blast you into the next dimension,' glare."

"Oh. Well, what would you look for then?"

I shrugged.

"A tree's a tree's a tree."

"I see." She walked over to another tree.

"It's not the same is it?" My brother asked.

"I forgot. I am still mad at you." I turned away from him.

"Get over it." I heard him sigh.

"Nyeeh. You're right though. I miss the screams of the lot owners." I returned a sigh.

"Guys! Check this one out!" Marron called.

We followed the sound of her voice and she led us to the very end of the lot. The tree she was by was very tall, almost glowing in it's bright greeness and the smell of sap was overbearing.

"It's a tree." Trunks stated.

"It's tall." I stated.

"Do you like?" Marron asked.

I looked at my brother.

"Sure."

"VEGETA! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! CAN WE GO TO ONE PLACE IN PUBLIC WHERE YOU DON'T CAUSE A SCENE?!"

Aaaah. The annual tree lot fight. Good times.

"Wonder what it is this time."

"Well brother let's go find out then, shall we?'

We zigged and zagged our way to the banshee like voice that was guiding us. My mother was yelling at my father and he just stood there half turned away ignoring her.

"You're one to talk." I heard him say as we made it.

"I am one talk? Well. Yes that's true as all you have been doing is standing there ignoring me!"She waved her hands wildly. Several poeple stopped to stare at them.

"I wonder why."

"That is it! NO Gravity Room Until February!"

Ooooh. Burn.

Not that I like that my parents fight and argue like children in public but the fights have alway been somewhat amusing. Esp. when no one knows we were related.

I heard dad growl in response to the threat.

"Whatever."

Whatever, huh? Maybe he has a plan . . .

"Did you find that tree yet?" Ah evasive now, father?

"We did." I nodded.

"Well, show the moron who runs this joke of a lot so we can get home."

"Get home to what, my prince?" My mother snarled.

"What do you think?" He returned her a glare.

"No. You break it this time I refuse to fix it! Train somewhere else!"

She waved her hands crazily again and walked back to the car.

Eighteen glared at Krillin.

"Why in the hell did you agree to this?"

He cowered and I think wet himself...

Krillin. . . .

* * *

The tree retrieving was fairly boring and not up to the usual, death threats and random blasts that I was accustomed to. My mother was ignoring my father and was actually ignoring him. No yelling or snide comments. He just for now did not exist in her world. It was different.

"This is nice. My family doesn't usually do this stuff." Marron was having fun decorating the tree with us.

"I don't know why we do it but it's fun I guess." Trunks poorly added tinsel. I tried to string some popcorn. Ended up eating it all. Twentieth bag even.

"It's nice to have traditions." Marron smiled.

"Whatever you say, buttercup." I started to string candy worms instead.

"You already got a tree?!" Pan screeched.

Wait. Pan was here?

The three of tuned and sure enough, Pannykins was behind us.

"Huh? Pan why are you here?" I guess I sounded bitchy because my brother hit my shoulder and I ended up missing the worm and the damn needle actually went through my finger. Yes for the first time ever, a damn needle penetrated my skin!

"Whyaaaaah!" I jumped and did the pain dance.

Pan backed away.

"What's wrong with you?!"

I grabbed my hand.

"Fuck, it hurts!" I continued prancing around the room.

"Bra what is it?" Marron and Trunks started toward me. I ended dancing/tripping on my own two left feet and danced/fell into someone from behind. Or would have if the damn idiot didn't have inhuman reflexes and tossed me to the side. I ended up face planted into a wall. Fun times.

"Needle in finger!"

I heard someone shout, "NEEDLE?!" and some crashing in the kitchen followed by, " YOU IDIOT! NO ONE IS GIVING YOU A SHOT!"

I would guess Goten was the super genuis who pushed me into the wall because he grabbed my hand and took the needle out and tossed it to the side.

"The great Bra: saiyan, fashion designer; crushed by a sewing needle."

I pushed his hand away he offered me. Bastard. Mocking me and then being nice.

"So, I guess mom decided she wanted to keep with our tradition." Trunks walked up and stood between us.

Someone has issues. I rolled my eyes at him.

"When we're finished Bra and Mar and I are going the movies. Want to join?"

Hmm. Two boys and two girls. Date? What? I don't get this brother of mine.

"Pan can come too." Trunk added when he noticed her pout.

Maybe not. Whatever though.

"Sure. What movie?" Goten stared at my Marron in way I did not appreciate. I crossed my arms. All dating requests had to go through me and he was on notice because of my paranoia.

Damn you, brother.

"We didn't choose yet, we like to wing these kinds of things." I tried to look intimidating but he laughed so I need to work on my looks.

"Sounds good to me."

Bastard.

He keeps looking at her!

Wait.

Thought occurring.

What if they are secretly dating or something?

And chose not to let me, the best friend know?

How rude!

You always tell the best friend even when you promise to never tell a soul something!

She broke the sacred code!

Bitch.

I glared at her with my, I know , glare.

"Bra is something on my face?"

Marron started touching her face.

"No." I slouched my shoulders and went back to my candy worms.

"Oh. I'm going to say hi to my mother. I don't think she likes any of your families." Marron blushed a bit.

"So, I better make sure she hasn't hurt someone yet. Mostly worried for dad."

Marron sauntered away. Yes. She did this thing with her hips and ugh. They are so screwing I can tell.

"I don't like the tree."

Pan stuck her nose up.

"I like it. I win." I threw my bag at her.

"Hey!" She caught the bag and threw it back to me.

I need to throw better, my targets keep catching.

"I want to see what mom is doing."

I left the unbearably boring room in search of entertainment. Mother and Chi-Chi gossip. They have the most entertaining conversations ever. Also scary good at vocal impressions of their husbands.

I found them on the patio alone drinking tea I guess. They had no one else with them so I know it has to be good! I tried to keep low key so they couldn't see or hear me from my hiding position.

"I just don't know if I should be talking about this. It may seem inappropriate, Chi." I heard my mother sigh.

Wonder she is on about.

"Don't worry about that. I'm here and you can tell me anything. I can't count how many times I complain to you about who I am married to." Chi-Chi grabbed my mother's hand and smiled.

"Thank you. It's been strange. Vegeta I mean. I don't know how to explain it." My mom has noticed I gather.

"Can you try?"

"Well," my mother began," he's been more playful. He has days where he is just so . . . funny. I think he's a different person but then he reverts back to his cold, stoic nature. I knew it wouldn't be easy to be with him and I made peace with that and over the years we've made wonderful progress. He's opened to me to much but now he's distant again. Like in the beginning. I almost don't know him."

My mother frowned into her cup.

"I'm sorry honey. Has he been doing anything else strange?" Chi-Chi held my mother's hand again.

"As a matter of fact," my mother raised her head and bit her nails, " I caught him going clothing shopping last week. That was pretty unusual. He's never cared about how he dresses and he just recently started to even wear westernized clothing. I almost want to say that he's. . . ." My mother trailed off and looked down at her cup again.

"That's he's what?" Chi Chi gazed at my mother intensely.

My mother's shoulders slumped.

"That he's having an affair." My mother whispered that last part and I felt like someone sucker punched my stomach

"Hey Bra, what are you doing hiding over there by the patio!" Goku's sickly chipper voice that could rival the Muppet's.

Shit.

I crept from hiding spot and ran inside. No one saw that. I was inside the whole time.

"What are you talking about?" My voice cracked a bit and I ran to my room.

"OH MY FUCK!"

I closed the door as soon as I opened it.

Inside my room.

My room.

MY room.

Were the happenings of vileness.

Marron and oh shit I KNEW it!

" Listen, you vile bonnie lass, that is my room you are being deflowered in! I. Do. Not. Want!"

I kicked the door before leaving the hall once again.

"What are you babbling about?" My father was playing anti social. I felt numb. I was still processing my mom and Chi Chi's conversation and now my best friend was getting it on in my room.

"Um. Marron and . . . got-

"You said, "de-flower" that's a sex thing right?"

I blushed and then my dad looked away blushing as well.

"I like penguins."

He scoffed and walked on.

This day sucked. I needed to vent. I needed a vent target. Downer M was out, obviously currently occupied. I roll my eyes and gag.

Hm. Someone who wouldn't offer advice or interrupt my rant. Hm. I scoped the room.

Pickles, eh?

Nah. He would walk away while I talked and dad was out cause half of my rant would include him. Let's see. Gohan was too . . . meh. Videl? Just no.

Ah!

I zeroed in on my victim.

"Hi Bra. Having fun?" Mr Chipper stopped stuffing his face to greet me.

"Carrot." I nodded.

"Uh actually-"

" You having a good day? Good week? Good year? Good everything?" I needed to pace myself and get setup for that matter.

"I guess?" He scratched his head in his Chipper-Man-I-Am-Cute way.

"Awesome there." I prepared for my setup.

"You?"

Oooh you have no idea.

"Me? Am I having a good day? Week? Year? Everything? Let's see. I got fired this week and my parents are kicking me out of the house. I have no job and no place to turn to when I am thrown out of here. To top it off my dad is acting crazy. From pranking, yes, pranking my mother to buying ties to telling me I am a selfish, horrible person for NOT saving those people in the bank. The bank! Did you know the only reason I was a "hero" was because of shoes? They killed my shoe! Screw human life! My shoe was in danger! That is right buddy! I, Bra, put shoes before people! My dad of all people got on me and called me a horrible person! Because he never killed anyone or hurt anyone! And my mom thinks he's cheating and cheating you wonderful puppy, is when you screw someone who is NOT your wife. AND! My brother thinks your son is a freaky nympho! Who wants me in the sack in exchange of accepting his job offer. So if true, your son thinks I have I zero integrity or self respect! So yeah, that's me!" I patted his shoulder and walked on.

Oh that felt good.

I heard clapping. I stopped. Blood left my face.

The room. Everyone in the room was staring at me.

"Uh."


	7. DoNotWant

* * *

This was not of the good. I stammered and was beginning to panic. Why were they all looking at me? Something on my face? I brought my hands and started to rub the hell out of my face.

My mother and Chi-Chi pushed pass the crowd. They did not look amused whatsoever and I do not blame them. Maybe my rant was a bit loud and dramatic but it was what I was feeling and was going on right now.

"Is this true, woman?" My dad was in the back, his usual spot at social gatherings. Close to food but far away enough from the people. Why we had a shindig was beyond me.

All sounds stopped at my father's voice. All eyes were on my mother.

"This is not the time or the place for this conversation and you know it."

He scoffed and I wanted to run away from this but my legs refused to corporate. The air was getting thin from tension. I hoped that they would just-

"You cared enough to tell our children so why not me? Well?"

"Fine," my mother hissed, " Yes. That is how I feel and what I think. So are you?"

I think some people were trying to leave while a few decided to enjoy their show.

"I'd ask the same of you. But no, I am not having an affair."

"Ask the same of me? You think I am cheating? On what grounds? How can you possibly--"

Dad turned away from her and waved his hand dismissively.

"I can't smell _him_ on you Bulma."

Dad, gross.

Trunks and I met each others gaze from across the room. He wanted me to go to him, but my legs were still not functioning.

"Smell who? A fellow worker? I come in contact with my fellow humans. I don't isolate myself!"

She crossed her arms and turned away from him.

They were soulmates, my parents.

"Um. I think we should get going." Krillin tried to move through the crowd and was not having much luck.

"No! This is a party and everyone is going to have a good fucking time!" My mother marched over to our stereo and turned the volume up.

"Even if I have to kill you all, everyone is going to have fun!"

Forced fun. Interesting.

My mom left the crowd, followed by Chi Chi and later dad. Everyone was trying to regroup but a loud shriek that screamed

"I AM NOT FUCKING GOKU, YOU ASS!"

And everyone died again. Least the focus was switched a bit. Goku stopped eating, and started to choke on whatever he stuffed his face with.

"I knew it." Eighteen sighed . . annoyed?

Chi Chi stormed in, her face was pale.

"Going home. Now." She said that to Gohan. They quickly left. Goku ran after them.

I think I just killed two marriages and in the matter of two minutes. I hate myself sometimes.

"Bra."

I lowered my head. My brother now probably hated me. Oh well. I was mad at him anyway.

"Trunks."

He touched my shoulder.

"I told you that in confidence. You are so lucky he didn't hear your rant. It was pathetic. Good job. You ruined Christmas and who knows what else."

Oh what the hell.

"That's always what I love to hear from you."

I turned to face him. I didn't need this right now.

"You're my sister and I love you, but grow up."

Me grow up? Where does he get off?!

"Me grow up? How many adults do you know that jump out the window of their office when they have to actually do something at work!"

We glared at each other.

"Lovely, looking for you. Why's everyone so.."

Ah. Now Downer M shows her face.

"Long story."

Trunks surveyed the room.

"It's like a soap opera. Missed the show. I'm going to look for Goten." He smiled at her, glared at me and then left our side.

"Soap opera eh? Who died? Who had sex?"

I tried to bite my tongue on the sex comment.

"My dad thinks Goku is boinking my mom. Thy had a fight and Chi Chi and company left."

Marron's eyes glazed over,

"Your dad and Goku fought? Were they shirtless?"

I about died at that.

"No. My dad and mom--and ew."

M has a crush on my dad?

"Damn."

Fear confirmed.

"Just saying--no offense but your dad and uncle G are so damn hot."

I felt like a drowning fish.

"Daddy is not hot. He's old and so is Carrot!"

Why did I still call him Uncle Carrot? I think he hates it.

"They so are."

Hello, related to one.

"Did you forget that I grew up with both of them? They changed my diapers!"

Why the hell did I shout that??

"I know. Plus Vegeta isn't my father so I have no reason be grossed out."

Bitch.

"Okay can we change--"

"It's his spandex. Well, both look good in it I bet, but those pictures of your dad in spandex."

M went to her happy place and I died further inside.

"Really do not want--"

"And Goku dude. When he goes super and his hair is--"

She sighed dreamily. What the fuck?

"Goku?" I blinked.

"Yes."

She nodded and licked her lips.

Ew. I hate this conversation.

"M I have to go over there. Check on my mom and dad. Um. Be right back." I walked backwards and then ran.

It didn't take long to find my mom, she was in her room crying. My brother was holding her. I froze. Fuck.

"Mom?"

She looked up.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."


End file.
